Chapter Fifteen: Retaliation from Solitude
“Talia!” I heard Ulfric cry out my name. The shout forced my eyes open and had me jumping to my feet. I tried to call out for him as well, but I found myself suffocating on the air around me. It was a thick gray smoke that made it impossible to see more than a few feet ahead of me. Every noise I made was muffled almost to the point of total silence. Ulfric called out for me again, his voice bouncing off the walls hidden by the smoke.
My shaking hands felt around in the dark, eventually finding the smooth stone wall. Using that as a guide, I followed it in the direction I heard him calling me, though it seemed with every step he was getting further and further from me. He sounded scared, almost worried. I wanted to assure him I was coming, but only more and more smoke left my chapped lips.
As I jogged blindly through the fog, the air seemed to get lighter. The stones of the corridor grew more rough as well, and I could feel a sea mist blowing my direction. A faint light cut through the haze farther ahead and I was desperate to reach it. I abandoned the certitude of the wall to sprint to the opening. It was just big enough for my small body to squeeze through. I almost called out for Ulfric when I was free from the prison, but the sight around me took my breath away again..
I stood on the execution stage in Solitude. In front of me, the town burned. There were innumerable dead scattered in the streets, both soldier and civilian. The sea mist I had felt blew in from behind me, the wall that fortified the city completely destroyed. The bay and docks were filled with flames as well, the ocean itself seeming to be nothing more than rolling waves of Daedric lava. The stench was worse than what I smelled at Helgen.
I turned as I heard Ulfric again, the voice like a whisper in my ear. Across the stage, my King laid across the execution block, and his blood splattered in revolting displays. I couldn't help the wail that slipped my lips. He was gone yet I could still hear him call for me. I heard my uncle's voice next, then Gaius's. More and more whispers joined the chorus until it sounded like a scream. I held my ears as I fell to my knees, sobbing and pleading for the scream to stop. “Why didn't you help us?! Why did you leave us?!”
I saw a pair of Imperial boots walking towards me, but the sounds had me immobilized. Over their chanting questions, I heard Tullius' voice. “You're a traitor to your country! You're a traitor to your own people!” He gripped a sword tightly in his hands as he continued, “You were supposed to protect your empire, not destroy it! Everyone has died because of you!” I could scarcely move as he raised the blade above his head, bringing it down to give me the same fate as the King in which I had aligned myself. I heard the soft whoosh of the blade as it cut through the air, but it never met its intended target.
I woke up from the nightmare to find myself shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. My fingers were bleeding from clutching the blade of my dagger rather than the hilt, but the pain was the least of my worries. Completely disoriented, I did what I always did. I screamed, “Gaius!” I expected him to run to me and hold me until I calmed down, or answer my questions until I knew where I was again. He always did, but he wouldn't that time. I became aware I was in the Palace of Kings and not at home, and my teary eyes rested on my cousin's helm mounted on the wall. He wouldn't be coming to rescue me from myself any longer.
It was the first night terror I had had without my cousin being there, so it only added to my pain. I didn't want anyone else to wake up and worry, but as I heard footsteps coming up the stairs I realized it was too late. My body trembled as I tossed the dagger to the floor and hurried to the door. I slid the bolt in place just as whoever was on the other side tried to open it. I heard it rattle and shake a few times before I worked out the courage to cry out, “I'm fine!”
“Talia?” The voice belonged to Ulfric. If it had been Jorlief or one of the maids, it would have been embarrassing but I would have gotten past it. Ulfric, however, terrified me. I didn't know if he would be angry or see this as another Imperial weakness. I didn't want him to see me so shaken. Yet, there was a softness in his voice that attempted to wipe away those insecurities. “Talia, are you hurt?”
I tried to choke the cries that still threatened to slip my throat. “I'm fine. It was a nightmare.” Try as I wanted, I sounded far from fine. I heard him try the door again and reluctantly unlocked it for him. As he pushed into the room, I turned to hide my face. “I'm fine.” I repeated a third time, but it sounded no better than the first.
Rather than ask any questions, the man just walked over and held me. That was all it took to draw out the next wave of tears. There was no sign that he thought less of me, or that he was angry. Instead, he was genuinely concerned. If I was ready to become so vulnerable to him or not, the situation was inescapable. The Nordic King pulled me closer as I sobbed, coaxing me into sitting on the floor with him until I could once again speak. It took several minutes to even get to a point of somewhat “normal” but he waited on me patiently.
“I'm sorry, Ulfric,” I finally whispered. “I... I can't help these nightmares... They're so real.” I sniffled as I buried my face in his nightshirt, his hand gently ruffling my hair. I continued, “I thought Solitude was destroyed... I thought Tullius killed you...”
The Nord shook his head. “No, everything is okay, Tali.” I shut my eyes as his lips pressed against my sweating forehead. “We're still safe in Windhelm and Tullius is still stowed away in his Castle.” His eyes ran over my body to make sure I had no other issues besides my broken mind. “What happened to your hand?”
“I grabbed my dagger wrong when I woke up,” I admitted, finally allowing myself to examine the cuts. They were minor, but it was as if mentioning them caused the pain to increase. I frowned as I cast a spell to patch them. While he waited for me to finish, Ulfric hummed softly, rocking as if holding a child and trying to get it to sleep. I suppose I was similar to a terrified child in that way. When my hand was healed enough to stop bleeding, I asked softly, “Did I wake you up?”
He shook his head slowly, “Galmar did. Kaita just came back from Markarth so we wanted to talk with her. We were in the great hall when I heard you.”
I frowned, sighing in disappointment. “They heard me then too. I really am sorry.”
“For a nightmare?” Ulfric scoffed, looking towards the door. “You worry too much what people think of you. Honestly, we were more scared that something had happened to you than anything else.” I was unconvinced, but I kept quiet, allowing him to continue comforting me in his grasp. “Do you want to see her before she gets some sleep?”
I nodded slowly and shakily got to my feet. The Nord hummed softly as he pulled himself up as well, stretching out his arms. He wasted no time in taking my hand and leading me to the door and down the steps to the main hall. Drawing close, I heard Galmar and Kaita's familiar banter, a sound that warmed my heart. “I'm surprised you didn't stay in Markarth. Every time you go, I think you'll find a reason.”
Kaita sighed. “I would have, but you weren't there. Not that I can't live without you. I just know how cranky you get when you don't see me every few days and I didn't want to put that on Ulfric.”
As I reached the bottom of the steps, I looked across the room to find them at the table. Kaita leaned backwards on a chair while Galmar stood in front of her, an amused grin beneath his beard. “If you did leave me, it would have taken me all of three hours to find me another woman.”
“Is that so?” Kaita mused, leaning forward with pursed lips. “Maybe I should have stayed in Markarth, then.” Her smirk softened to a smile when she saw Ulfric and I approaching. Taking a cue from Ulfric, she didn't ask me what was wrong, but instead rushed over to give me a hug. “Good to see my Shield-Sister again. I take it Morthal was seized without a problem?”
I laughed softly as I hugged her back. “Not exactly, but we took it none the less. I'm happy to see you're okay too.” I stepped back to look her over. Besides her tired eyes and a few scrapes that would heal over time, the woman looked well. “How did your mission go?”
Kaita smiled proudly as she crossed her arms over her chest. “We took the fort with no casualties. The next day I went to Understone Keep to demand their surrender myself. Their faces when they realized how foolish they were to turn their back on Ulfric- on me! I wish you would have been there.” She looked back at Galmar before motioning back to me. “Tell her about Falkreath too.”
The grizzled Nord nodded, looking over at me. “The Jarl there is young and foolish. He acts on whims to preserve his own self interests. When news reached him that both Markarth and Morthal had fallen, and within days of each other, he did the sensible thing and give the throne back to his uncle.”
I felt my smile widen. “So we've taken Falkreath without any bloodshed? That's incredible!” I stopped a moment to consider what the next step would be. “All that's left is taking Solitude then.”
“Aye,” Ulfric sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly and taking a seat at the table. “By now, Tullius and Rikke will have heard the news. My hope is they surrender before it comes to a fight.” I could tell from his tone the thought bothered him. He didn't want to face Rikke under any other circumstances. He didn't want to have to kill her.
“You know they won't, Ulfric,” the other male, grunted, completely blind to his king's distress. “Tullius has that stubborn Imperial pride, and Rikke is never one to surrender. We'll likely have to march on Castle Dour to have any chance of their surrender.”
Kaita, a little more understanding than her partner, elbowed him roughly in the ribs. “Thank you for stating the obvious.” She looked over Ulfric and then at me. “We have to take their fort but afterwards we can send letters asking for their surrender. They might comply.”
“They won't,” the Jarl stated plainly, shutting his eyes as he leaned back in the chair. “They will fight to the very end, just like we would. There is no surrender when it comes to generals. There's no reasoning with the Imperials.”
His tone was cold as spoke, just as it had been when we first met. He was trying to close himself off again. For him, it was easier to remain indifferent than to feel anything at all. I wasn't going to let him go back to that old habit though. I walked over to him, putting my hands on his shoulders and rubbing them. The gesture startled him at first, but he calmed as he realized I was trying to soothe him. I smiled as I stared down into his glossy hazel eyes. “I saw reason.”
“You're different,” he tried to explain, but I wouldn't let him.
“We have to try, Ulfric. That's all we can do now.” I pushed some of the hair away that had fallen in his face. “What they do after we offer is on them, not us. Rikke made her choice then, but that doesn't mean she can't change her mind.” The thought of Rikke siding with Ulfric again actually hurt me a little. I didn't know if I would be replaced, but I couldn't let the thought linger. Winning the war, Ulfric's happiness, and minimizing the bloodshed was my ultimate goal. If we could accomplish all three with winning over a single person, I would do what I had to do.
The Nord started to respond before the doors swung open, alerting the guards who were falling asleep on their posts. They drew their weapons, but the cries of the Dark Elf had them lowered. Serlyn stopped in the middle of the hall, exclaiming, “There's Imperial Ships in the bay!”
The four of us looked equally confused, but Galmar was the one to speak first, “Are you sure?”
“Yes sera!” The elf panted despite being covered in a fine layer of snow. “Bjorn checked several times. There's no mistaking the sails and flags.”
“Maybe it's shipments for the East Empire Company?” Kaita asked, but Galmar was already on his way to change into his armor.
“I... I don't think so.” He watched Galmar with a small frown. “The merchant at the docks left just this morning. I wouldn't think he'd leave if he was expecting a shipment. It's also five ships, not the usual two.”
Ulfric frowned as he pieced together what was being said. He rose to his feet with a growl. “The Legion is trying to close our port.” He called for Jorleif before looking back at Serlyn. “Thank you for the warning. We'll meet you and Bjorn at the dock.”
“Yes, sera!” He saluted at his dismissal and turned on his heels heading for the the doors once again. As he did, he ordered a set of guards to follow him. They might not have liked the dark elves, but with him being second-in-command of the city guard, they didn't really have a choice.
The Jarl looked over his shoulder at Kaita and me as he started to his room. “Get dressed and ready for a fight. I don't know what they're planning, but we need to be ready just in case.” As we saluted him, he began barking orders at Jorlief. “Get together as many guard as you can to get the people secured. Everyone not in the walls needs to come in and everyone inside needs to stay in their homes.”
As his voice trailed off, I looked at Kaita as she took a deep breath. “No rest for the weary it seems.” She laughed softly before continuing, “Seeing as I'm still armored up, I'm going to meet Serlyn and Bjorn and see what I can figure out. I take it I'll meet you there.”
I gave her a curt nod before rushing back up the stairs to my own room. I wiped any remaining sleep and tears from my eyes with my shirtsleeve before quickly strapping into my warm Stormcloak garments. I opted to leave Krosis behind as it would only impede my vision in the night. Everything else I chose to bring, fearing to face an opponent and be left wanting. I jogged from my room to the doors at the front of the Palace, nearly running into Jorleif as I did. The poor housecarl was still in his nightwear as he ventured into the cold to begin warning the people of the threat.
Leaving the Palace, I turned left to head into the Grey Quarter and the guard outpost near the docks. Atop the wall, I saw Serlyn and Bjorn standing on either side of Kaita as she watched the ships through a spyglass. I nimbly climbed the ladder to join them on the wall, knocking off piles of snow that had accumulated on the railing over the night. Despite the apparent storm that had blown through earlier, the night sky was clear. It was obvious how the two had spotted the ships. They were beacons on the Sea of Ghosts. They weren't trying to hide.
“Have they moved at all?” I asked, standing next to my Shield-Sister.
Kaita hummed, “They all turned since I've been here. It looks like they decided to head back towards Dawnstar now. Are we sure they aren't merchant ships?”
I took the spyglass as it was offered to me and looked through it to examine each ship more carefully. They were oddly familiar to me, so I studied the details as closely as I could. The sails were made from exquisite fabric, making them able to withstand long journeys through storms without repair. Similarly, the wood was a fine Cyrodillic grade and expertly pieced together to cut through the biggest of waves. The flags held the insignia of the empire, but with a golden background rather than red. That was the tell-tale sign in identifying the ships. “I know what those are...” I stated, solemnly. “Those are the empire's escort ships. They lead the Emperor's ship wherever he wishes to go.”
Kaita was staring at me as I pulled the spyglass away. Bjorn and Serlyn were equally dumbfounded. “Why would they be out here then, Talia? Shouldn't they be where the Emperor is?”
I kept staring at the ships in wonder. “They should, but his ship isn't with them. He must have docked in Solitude.”
“Wait,” Bjorn cut in, his eyes widening. “You're telling me the emperor is here in Skyrim then?”
“That's the only reason I can think of that his ships are here.” It was a terrifying thought. The man responsible for the blight in Skyrim, the one I used to serve wholeheartedly, was here in this land. The only logical reason for it would be that he hoped his presence would change the minds of the people of Skyrim. It meant Tullius was desperate, but also that my Uncle must have succeeded in killing the Listener. I was a mix of feelings that ultimately led me to feeling sick.
Serlyn asked in a quiet voice, “Why are they out here though? Shouldn't they be protecting his ship?” He took the spyglass from me to examine the ship again.
Kaita huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “They probably wanted to show off or let us know he's here. They want us to be afraid.” She glanced at Serlyn, suddenly asking, “What's wrong?”
The question caught me off guard. I quickly looked over at the elf to see the color drain from his face. Bjorn walked over in concern, taking the tool and looking back out to the ships. He muttered in a terror-filled whisper, “They have cannons.”
“Cannons?” I knew the ships were armed to defend the Emperor but the cannons were never visible on the top deck. Rather, they stored them in the lower levels to hit ships beside them. The only reason they would be on the top level would be to hit objects at a distance. In nearly stumbled off the wall as I realized what they planned to do. “By the Nine, they're going to fire on the city!”
My words hit Kaita like an axe. She looked utterly terrified as stuttered, “We have to tell Ulfric. Right now.” As I nodded in agreement, she ordered the other two, “Stay here and watch them. If they do anything, sound the alarm and get to safety. Am I understood?”
“Yes, Stormblade!” They replied in unison. Kaita immediately started down the ladder, and I was right on her heels. We started sprinting for the Palace, dodging the guards who were hurrying from door to door in the Grey Quarter. Luckily, Ulfric was leaving the doors right as we ran up. Our expressions must have told him enough to know to be worried. She started to tell him the situation when we all heard the radiant echo of Serlyn's war hown. Bjorn screamed out Kaita's name before the cry was overtaken by explosive thunder and cracking rock.
I was powerless to stop Kaita from running back towards the docks. She pulled her arm from my grip as she raced to desperately find the two soldiers she considered her own. I started after her but Ulfric's grip on me prevented me from going far. “We have to get to safety!” he ordered, his voice barely audible over the sound of whistling cannonballs and their subsequent explosions. I gave into him and my senses and immediately ran to the safety of the stone awning.
None of Windhelm was spared from the magicka-powered cannons that rained flaming rocks onto our city. Between explosions I could hear the screams of those in their homes, confused by what was happening outside their doors. I myself was unable to hold in my squeal as one of the cannonballs hit the Palace just left of us, pulling down stone that had been there for hundreds of years. I huddled into Ulfric, letting him hold me tightly as we prayed for their assault to end. I began counting each of the explosions as they fell. There were 35 cannons between the ships, so only 35 shots to endure. After the assault, we just had to hope they wouldn't fire them off again.
As suddenly as the attack began, it ended. In comparison to the deafening sound of stone on stone drumming, the silence seemed out of place. Everything was deadly still for a few seconds, so much so I could have sworn I heard cheers from the Legionnaires on the ships. My body trembled as I slowly stood back up, looking past the courtyard and into the town. I tried ot help Ulfric to his feet, but in his distraction he refused to take my hand. The Jarl looked utterly defeated as he walked closer to the square to get a better look at his town.
On the main road alone the roads had become littered with rubble. The Candlehearth Hall had damage to its seaward side and the roof had collapsed into the kitchen. The Temple of Talos had a massive stone blocking the entrance and there was no telling the damage done inside. We could hear screams and cries for help rising from the housing district as homes had been damage or completely destroyed. I was sure the same went for the market.
Rather than stay with Ulfric, I couldn't stop myself from running to the Grey Quarter. That part of the city had been completely decimated. There was hardly a wall left to separate the city from the sea. None of the elven homes were left alone, but I was thankful to see most of the elves moving amongst the rubble to help survivors. The guard tower was in complete ruin, and the adjacent wall were we spotted the ships was equally decimated. I looked out into the sea to see the ships heading back towards Dawnstar. They had made their point, so there was no further need to stick around.
Through the deafening noise of my heartbeat in my ears, I managed to hear Bjorn calling for help. I stumbled across the rubble to find him in one of the roadways. He held Serlyn tightly in his arms, shaking violently as he called again for help. “I'm here, Bjorn!” I cried in response, getting his attention.
“Talia!” Bjorn stumbled to me, meeting me halfway as he carried the elf. “Talia, please!” he struggling to explain through quickened breaths. “The cannons... The wall... He isn't breathing anymore! Please do something!” My hand trembled as I reached out to the elf, feeling for a pulse. The only movement I saw was the blood dripping from the pale Dunmer's lips. As Bjorn hugged him tighter, I couldn't help the whimper that slipped my lips in place of words. I couldn't even meet his gaze as he begged me again, “Please, Talia! Do anything! Tell me you can save him...”
My wordless expression was enough to make him realize Serlyn was dead, and I had to withdraw. I couldn't bare to see him sobbing, holding his best friend in his arms. I found myself crying just as hard. All around me, the city was mourning. Some lost friends, others lost mothers and fathers. It was sickening. The rays of Mundus were just beginning to rise on the city, greeting a day filled with utter loss.
I eventually made my way back to Ulfric as he sat on the steps outside the Palace looking in shock. As he saw me, he had to look away. I didn't blame him. Neither one of us could meet the other's gaze. Regardless, I wiped my eyes as I forced myself to approach him. I knew he needed to talk, just as I did. “What are you thinking right now?”
“Gods how I wish this where just a dream.” There was a faith chuckle in his voice, but it was fake. He had never sounded so broken. Ulfric carded a hand through his hair, shutting his eyes for several moments. “So much death... So much damage... We weren't even prepared.”
“You couldn't have known,” I whispered, trying to reassure him. “It could have been so much worse than it is.”
Ulfric tutted, shaking his head as he rose to his feet. “Much worse than this?” He demanded, gesturing to the housing district right of him. His tone shifted violently to anger, startling me and causing me step back from him. “How many people do you think will never wake up this morning, Talia? How many funerals will we have in the evening? I can hardly imagine a fate worse than this!”
I bit my lip as I tried to keep my tone even. “They could have kept attacking until the city was rubble. It's awful, but we have to try to help the people who are left. We have to guide them through this. They need a level-headed ruler right now.”
Ulfric glared at me. “Level-headed ruler? Perhaps if they had one to begin with, this never would have happened.” He crossed his arms over his chest as he paced the courtyard. “You knew about the ships, didn't you? You knew the Emperor had cannons. You should have told us sooner!”
I flinched at the harshness of his words, feeling my own anger begin to rise. “Are... are you blaming this on me?”
Before Ulfric could speak, Galmar called from inside the Palace, “Talia! Ulfric! Kaita is injured!” I avoided looking at the Jarl as I hurried past him. Despite the anger that boiled in both of our bloods, our concerns at that moment shifted to Kaita. Galmar's expression was solemn, but he had done well to keep a tear from his eye. He stepped aside as he let Ulfric and I inside.
Other than several shelves being knocked from the walls, the Palace seemed in well enough order. The maids and cooks were gathered in the great hall, shaken but alive. It seemed as though the exterior walls of the Palace had taken most of the damage.
Galmar quickly led us up the stairs and into my room. He had laid Kaita on the bed but she showed no signs of consciousness. Her breathing came in gasps that sounded as painful as I'm sure they felt. A massive gash cut across her forehead and several littler ones trailed down her neck and chest. Galmar had left her in the under armor, but removed the heavier pieces. Just from glancing at them on the pile on the floor, I knew they were broken and crushed beyond repair. I didn't ask any questions as I went to work healing my Shield-Sister.
Contrarily, Ulfric wasn't afraid to ask about his friend. He stood next to Galmar, placing a hand on his shoulder. “What happened?”
“She was crushed under some debris when the wall was hit. I managed to pull her out, but she hasn't woken up.” He glanced over at Ulfric, drawing a deep breath at a failed attempt to calm his anxiousness. “I don't know if any magic will help her.”
The Jarl growled in frustration. “Where is Wuunferth? He should be tending to her now.”
Galmar shook his head. “I ordered him to help the rest of the injured in the city. Talia can focus on Kaita well enough.” His eyes reflected the lights that radiated from my hands. They had never shone so brightly, but I recognized it as the glimmer of tears. He loved her and didn't want to lose her.
I focused on healing her vital organs first, casting my magicka deep into her chest. Soft pulses from my fingertips sewn together any rips and splinted together the finest of breaks. Both Galmar and I sighed in relief as Kaita's gasps slowed to deep breaths. Her contorted pained expression softened as I removed the pain from the most severe areas. Unfortunately, I could feel my Magicka reserves growing low. I did all I could before having to sit back and wait. I knew my reserves would take awhile to fully recharge, but I was happy at least to give my dear friend some relief.
As I sat back on the floor, Galmar stepped away from Ulfric to approach Kaita. He knelt on the floor beside the bed, his old callused hand sliding into her own. After a couple moments of silence, he asked, “Did you find Bjorn and Serlyn?”
I nodded slowly, answering in a whisper as if it would soften the words, “Bjorn is fine, but Serlyn didn't make it. I'm sorry, Galmar.” The words hurt the man, but he didn't show many signs outwardly. I admired his resolve on emotions other than anger. I knew Kaita would have the opposite reaction when she woke though. The two obviously love those boys and wanted the best for them. I knew it would be hard to take in but I continued anyways, “They were both on the wall when Kaita and I left. I spotted the cannons on the ships and we wanted to warn you.” I watched Kaita, feeling my eyes well with tears again. “This was a pointless attack. They gained nothing from killing all these innocent people.”
“I'm glad he did it,” Ulfric admitted. The statement was so unexpected it caused both Galmar and me to look back at him. The Nord was hurt, yet he had a smile on his face. “He's proven me right in all my claims. The Empire doesn't care about it's people. It wants to keep us under it's thumb with fear.” I watched him as he paced, his anger welling to the point he was nearly shouting. “I'm glad he's here! I'm glad Tullius invited him! It makes it all the more easier to kill him!”
My breath hitched slightly.“You said nothing about killing him, Ulfric.” My soft tone was enough of a contradiction to stop him in his pacing. “You just wanted the Legion out of Skyrim.”
“To kill a snake you have to cut off the head,” he responded, glaring down at me. “Don't you agree?”
My heart beat quickened within my chest. I looked at Galmar to see him just as surprised as I was at the proposal. I forced myself to draw a deep breath and think before speaking. I didn't want to anger him more, but I knew what he wanted to do was insane. “If you kill him, it's going to affect more than Skyrim. Cyrodiil with be without a leader and the Thalmor will do to them what they did to you.”
Ulfric scoffed, “Cyrodiil isn't my concern.”
That statement made my stomach knot. He had no regard for the lives affected outside of his own circle. I tried to quell my fear and anger and speak normally, but I couldn't help the words leaving my lips, “What in Oblivion is wrong with you? Listen to yourself! You aren't thinking clearly!”
He stepped towards me, his usually soft hazel eyes now cold and stinging with tears. His hands gathered themselves into fists as he shouted, “For the first time in months, I finally am! I've gotten too soft and I've let things go on for far too long. Now this is the price I pay. But I will return it to the Empire three times over! This is what they do, Talia! It's time we do the same! If I don't kill them here, I will march on Cyrodiil. I will make the emperor feel the pain in seeing his home burn before I put his head on pike! And I will kill every single Imperial who stands in my way!”
As he spoke, he subconsciously drew closer. With each step I found myself shaking but held my ground. He was nearly on top of me before I felt Galmar step between us. The old Nord fearlessly stared the raging King in the eyes, pushing Ulfric away from me. His tone was softer than usual as he attempted to calm the Jarl down. “You're tired and hurt. We all are, Ulfric. But taking it out on anyone isn't going to help. We have to worry about getting ourselves on our feet before we plan anything.”
The taller Nord looked appalled as he stared at Galmar and then back down at me. “You're take her side? Of all times, of all people, you're choosing her?!”
“There's no sides, Ulfric!” I cried, begging to reason with him. “I support you and I have since I met you. You're letting fear and hatred cloud your judgment. If you killed the Emperor, you would be making a huge mistake.”
Ulfric stared down at me, his expression entirely unreadable. “I've made a lot of mistakes, but the biggest one was letting you walk out of Helgen alive.” His words hit me harder than anything anyone had ever said to me. I was struggling to keep my composure as he continued, “Everything that's happen thus far is because of you. Every loss, every death, you've had a hand in. We would have been fine without you.”
“Enough, Ulfric!” Galmar growled, coming to my defense. It was pointless however, as the damage had already been done.
I struggled to form words as I stared between the two Nords, “I just wanted to help. I felt guilty for my role in the empire, but I think I've made a mistake. If this is who the Stormcloaks really are, I don't want a part anymore. You're just as evil as the people you want to destroy.” I wasted no time in grabbing Krosis and sliding it on my quickly reddening face. The heat from my anger mixed with the tears of betrayal. I didn't want anyone to see me, and I didn't want to be there any longer.
I staggered for the stairs, not stopping even as I heard Galmar call out, “Where are you going?”
“Fort Hraggstad,” I responded. “That's the last Fort you needed in order to take Solitude, right?”
I started walking again, refusing to stop even as I heard Ulfric start after me. “We didn't give you that order.”
“To Oblivion with your orders,” I snarled from under the mask, the words leaving me before I had a chance to regret them. “I'll take the fort and then my debt is paid. You can do whatever you want in this ridiculous war, but I'm done with you. I'm done with all of this!” I grabbed the handle of the door, pulling it open and pausing once to look back at him. Anger boiling my blood I added, “I'll tell you this, though. If you dare make an advance on the emperor, I won't hesitate to stand in your way. I won't let Cyrodiil suffer because of Skyrim's hatred.”
I could see Ulfric trembling in anger. “If you abandon us, I'll treat you like any other Legionnaire!”
“So be it then,” I replied in much softer voice. Past him, I saw Jorlief and the guards he spoke to staring in disbelief. Whatever conversation they were having had ceased for the time being so the trio could watch this unbelievable sight. Galmar had made it down the stairs as well, but he still looked at a loss for words. The day had just started, but already taken a toll on every one. None of us were in our right minds and I tried to remember that. I added, trying to defuse the situation and bring out whatever reason I could in him, “If you wake up and realize the consequences of what you're proposing by the time I get back, I won't go. I want to win this fight, but not if the only way is to put our problems on someone else.”
Ulfric crossed his arms over his chest, his expression unchanging as he quickly spat at me, “If the Legionnaires don't kill you at the fort, I will when you step through the gate. If you aren't with me, you stand against me.”
I shook my head, not finding enough strength to reply. I stepped through the door, closing it behind me as I hurried through the rubble filled streets. Beneath the mask, my cheeks were freezing from the mix of cold and water that froze to them. Part of me wanted to belief Ulfric's words were simply from being exhausted physically and mentally. I knew though that at least some part of him really thought that way if he was willing to voice it. It was a pain that hurt worse than a sword. All that time, I thought we were the right side. I thought I was fighting for the right reasons. I was stupid enough to believe that I was in love.
I stepped past droves of Nords, Elves, and Imperials alike as they struggled to save what was left of their city. So many were injured, but at least they weren't dead. Guards had placed themselves among them, helping anyone they came across. Stones were already being rolled away to help those trapped inside their own sanctuaries. The smiling faces of those freed was the only beautiful outcome of the entire ordeal. News would spread like wildfire that Windhelm was hit. Solitude would revel in it as a victory, but it would be their last.
As I took a horse from the stable, I started towards Solitude alone. The long road devoid of life gave me time to think, not that it was doing me much good. I kept coming to the same conclusion: none of this was fair. No one was in the right. The Empire was overbearing and the Stormcloaks were out for revenge. The people were simply pawns stuck in the middle of a game they didn't want to play. They were who I wanted to protect, but who was I to lend my support to? I felt stuck between choosing the lesser of two evils when all I wanted to do was the most good. It occurred to me that maybe I wasn't as good as I thought I was either. I had killed for both sides. I had stolen and lied. I was trying to pay a dept that no one was asking for. All things considered, I was doing more damage than good. I was just guilty as Tullius and Ulfric.
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