Chapter Seventeen- In Love and War
The air smelled of mold and blood. In the damp, dark dungeon I found myself in, the Legionnaires saw no need to keep the place clean and dry. Everyone housed within the walls was destined to die, so why waste the precious resources. Between torture, starvation, and hypothermia, they made it so their prisoners wanted death by the end of their stay.
My arms were bound behind me as I laid against the freezing stone wall. It was a pointless gesture as I didn't have the strength or will to fight my way to freedom. I shivered from the pain and cold, the sound of my chattering teeth echoing off the walls. I had no idea how long I had actually been captive in Castle Dour, but I had slept at least three times. Sleep was a strong word; I had simply rested.
Each time I closed my eyes, nightmarish visions danced behind my eyelids: the bodies of Gaius and Drablek, Kaita running to her death as canonballs rained from the skies, Ulfric and Tullius tearing each other apart to get to me first. The self-inflicted tortures were second only to the ones the Legion had put me through. They wanted information about Ulfric that they didn't already have. They didn't believe me when I said I left the Stormcloaks. As a result, I found myself in their interrogation room often. My body still ached from the torment. I had been burned, cut, stabbed, poisoned... but they never killed me. They told me that was Tullius' honor.
The deadly silence was maddening. Each sound woke me from my restless sleep out of fear. It became an involuntary game where I guessed if someone was coming to hurt me or if a rat stealing from the ration barrels. I began to hear things that weren't there as well. I thought I heard my uncle calling my name, then I heard the sounds of distant fighting. They gave me a false hope that I clung desperately onto for hours. Each disappointment was harder than the last.
“Talia,” the sound of my name actualy being called woke me from a sleep I didn't know I had drifted into. I blinked several times to try to focus my eyes in the low-light. I was alarmed to see three figures outside my cell door: Tullius, Rikke, and a tall, thin Altmer.
“Tullius,” I responded after a moment. “I finally get the honor of seeing you again,” I mocked, my voice soft and broken. As terrible as I felt, I wasn't going to give the man the satisfaction of knowing he was breaking my spirits.
The Imperial scoffed, “Elenwen, this is Talia Maro. The woman responsible for getting Ulfric this far.”
“Oh,” the High Elf purred. Her honey colored eyes bore into me, a cocky grin gracing her thin lips. “Good morning, Talia. Enjoying your last day on Nirn?”
Her question made my heart skip a beat. “Last day?” I asked in the same broken tone.
“We don't have need of you anymore, I'm afraid,” the elf hummed. “I was going to take you to Summerset Isle myself, but I think you'll serve better as an example to any other rebels who want to join the Stormcloak cause.” I must have shown how panicked I felt because the woman laughed. “You didn't think you would actually leave did you? Did you expect your god, Talos, to descend and save you himself?”
“I think that's enough,” Rikke grumbled. Despite how much she tried to hide it, I knew she felt sorry for me. She was playing a dangerous game by showing me any kind of sympathy, but she did well to keep her emotions in check. It was painfully obvious she didn't like the Aldmeri agent however, but for Tullius' sake she wanted to stay in Elenwen's good graces. “There's no need to make a mockery of her. She knows her death. Let her make peace with it now.”
Elenwen looked towards the Legate with the same sadistic smile she gave me. “General Tullius, you might want to keep your underlings in check. I could mistake her words as a threat.”
Tullius shot Rikke a glare. The warning did little to keep the Nord woman's mouth shut. “Take my words how you please, Elenwen,” she challenged.
The man cut in, “I apologize on her behalf.” He motioned for Rikke to leave as he put his attention back on me. “You have an hour. We sent word to your Uncle and he agreed to see you one last time. I suggest you begin to make your amends.”
Tullius began walking back down the hall, but the elf lingered a few moments. “It's odd,” she told me, “that an Imperial such as yourself would die this way. You had everything with the Penitus Oculatus, and now you're here, alone. All this for a false god.”
I tried to calm my breathing. I could see how she fed on my fear. That's what the Thalmor wanted: total fear. “It wasn't just about Talos,” I corrected, trying to make myself sound confident. “I know what you are and what you want. When the Stormcloaks win, everyone will. You really don't care about the Empire at all. You want to crush it too.”
She tilted her head slightly, her smile remaining, “You're smart for a human.” She walked a little closer to the bars, towering over me. “No, we don't care what happens to either side. Honestly, I couldn't care less if you wiped each other out. That's what you men do. Your races are inferior and self-destructive. You need a real leader.”
“You think you can do better?” I asked her, narrowing my eyes.
“I know I can,” she responded confidently, her eyes shifting down the hall at the noise of approaching footsteps. Rikke returned, leading a royally armored man to my cell. “Commander Maro,” she cooed in her calm voice, “It is always a pleasure to see you.”
“You as well, Ambassador,” the man responded as he approached. I couldn't help the guilt that knotted my stomach as I saw him for the first time in weeks. “Give us a moment alone, would you?”
The elf glanced at me before staring back at him. She began to speak but Rikke cut her off, “Of course, Commander. We wouldn't dare disrespect the wishes of the Emperor's Guard.” Her words were directed mostly towards the elf, venom saturating them. With the reminder of my uncle's power, Elenwen reluctantly nodded and turned down the hall. Rikke was quick to escort her away.
“My dear Talia,” the man murmured when he was certain everyone was out of earshot. “What mess have you gotten yourself into?” Despite the kindness in his words, I knew there was something wrong.
I studied him for a long while without responding. He looked thinner, almost sickly. Deep scars lined his cheek on one side and I could see burn marks peeking from underneath the collar of his uniform. Finally, his eyes held a hunger to them that my uncle never had. They appeared almost red in the low light. I felt my heart sink as I defeatedly asked, “Where is Uncle Oritius?”
My father's fake frown turned to a dark grin. “You're getting good at seeing through my facades. I almost feel like I need to step up my game.” He chuckled, leaning against the bars to get a better look at me. He wanted to see my face when he told me. “His body is somewhere at sea by now. His soul finds rest in the void.”
There was a sharp pain in my chest, each word stabbing deeper than the last. I could no longer hold his gaze. I whispered curses under my breath as I tried to tell myself he was lying. There was no mistaking the armor though. The dents were in just the right places, and the wear marks on the belts were just his size. He had to get the armor from my uncle; he had to have killed him at last. “Why?” I cried, the only word I could force from my lips.
“The same reason I've always gone after them,” he told me in an even tone, sighing happily as he watched me mourn. “He took everything from me, so I had to take everything from him. As for you,” he yawned, the entire conversation seeming to bore him, “You're just my mistake. I've been waiting to get rid of you for awhile.”
My lips trembled as I forced myself to look up at him. “Do it then,” I snapped at him, anger mixing with my remorse. “Kill me and be done with it!”
Michealis hummed as he stood up straight, adjusting his armor. “No,” he responded, pausing to enjoy my shocked expression. “I think what's going on here is a greater irony than I could serve. You did all this good and Skyrim repays you with a beheading. It's almost poetic.”
“You... You went through all this trouble and you aren't even going to kill me yourself?” I asked. It seemed as though my father had an endless amount of cruelty. Still in shock from my uncle's death, I could scarcely process what he was saying.
“Where's the honor in that?” he mocked. “You wanted to die for Skyrim? Here's your chance. Consider it my final gift to you.” Michealis looked both directions down the hall before starting to walk away.
“What are you going to do now?” I asked, pain in my tone. “You have no one. You've killed them all. What joy is there in life for you?”
“Oh there's plenty to enjoy, my daughter,” he purred to me, looking back at the cell. “Gold, influence, power... Don't think I'll be bored not hunting you down. There's plenty of people to kill in this world. In fact, I'm on my way to a murder now.” He started walking, but kept speaking, “The greatest assassination since Emperor Pelagius, mind you, and now there isn't anyone left to stop it.”
As he slipped down the corridor, my mind began racing. It took mere moments for me to realize what he was talking about. “He's going to kill the Emperor...” I whispered to myself in horror. I felt like such a fool. He was right. With my uncle out of the way, the rest of the Penitus Oculatus would be none the wiser. They had my uncle's trust fully. Michealis simply had to play his role well enough. “Tullius!” I cried out, my voice echoing off the stone walls of my prison. “Rikke! Tullius! Anyone!?”
My pleas immediately drew the Legate to my cell, but Tullius wasn't far behind. While she looked at me with general concern, the man looked beyond annoyed. “What do you want?”
“He's going to kill the emperor!” I told him, forcing myself to hold his gaze. “That isn't my uncle. You have to stop him, Tullius!”
The white-haired man scoffed, looking at Rikke. After a moment of silence between him he simply mumbled, “She's lost her mind.”
“I'm telling the truth,” I pleaded, shifting my gaze to Rikke. “Please, you have to believe me. He will kill him if you don't do something!”
“That's quite enough,” the man barked at me. He looked absolutely disgusted as he stared down into my cell. “You aren't going to deceive us anymore. You're a traitor. Why should anything you say have meaning?”
I was floored. I didn't understand why they couldn't believe such a serious threat. Had I really broken their trust so much that they weren't even willing to look into any of my claims? I kept my attention on Rikke, hoping some part of her still held out hope for me. “Please," I begged in desperation, but the woman only shook her head.
“You're done tricking people,” Tullius continued. “All these deaths could have been prevented. I should have killed you the moment I suspected something. I'm not letting my chance pass again.”
“His life is in danger and you won't even look into it?” I demanded to know, feeling hot tears of anger burn my eyes. “His death will be on you.”
The man scoffed once again. “No, his death will be on you.” His words stung as I realized their truth. “You were his guard and you've betrayed him. Commander Maro has lost both his children it seems. I doubt he would let himself lose his Emperor.”
“Tullius,” I tried to plead one last time.
“We're done talking, traitor,” the man told me. “I have an execution to get ready for.” Without giving me another second of his time, the man turned on his heels to walk back down the hall. Rikke lingered a few moments however. I could see how pained it made her to watch me. She wanted to believe me, but couldn't bring herself to do it.
“You know this isn't fair, Rikke,” I whispered as the woman made a move to walk away.
To my surprise, she stopped. “It doesn't matter if it's fair or not, Talia. This is war. All is fair in love and war.”
“Is that what you told yourself when you left Ulfric?” The question hurt her more than I intended. I wasn't sure what made me think about the Jarl at that moment. The mix of pained emotions wanted me to lash out, but I immediately regretted doing so. I softened my tone as I pressed, “You loved each other, didn't you? But you left him for Tullius, for the empire, without an explanation. That wasn't fair either.”
“How would you know?” Her gaze was cold. Her hands clenched and unclenched themselves, making her annoyance clear. “Is that what he told you? What other lies has he whispered to you? Promises of love? Protection? Acceptance? Do you think he can really give you that? When he dies, you have gained nothing. He is a liar. He cares for no one but himself.”
Despite the truth I heard in her words, I didn't believe it all. “Your taste in men hasn't changed then. Tullius is no different than Ulfric,” I told her, trying to keep my calm. She seemed to ponder my words, before scoffing and shaking her head. “Rikke, you know it's true. This isn't right. Tullius isn't the answer.”
She shut her eyes, drawing in a deep breath to compose herself. “Maybe not, but neither is Ulfric.” She looked at me once last time, before turning her back to the cell. There was a hint of sympathy in her tone when she whispered, “I wish things were different, Talia. This didn't have to happen. I'm sorry, but this is how it has to be now.” With those parting words, she left down the hall, heading to the stage to ready herself for the execution.
I was in shock for a long while. I had too much to process in such a little time. My uncle, the man I abandoned, died not knowing if I was okay. Because of me, the Emperor would die and Cyrodiil would fall into the hands of the Thalmor. Once they seized power, it was only a matter of time before Skyrim fell back into their control as well. The Stormcloaks would die, as would any hope of freedom, and in fate's twisted humor, the one who could have prevented all of it was bound in a cell.
Left completely alone again, I couldn't help but cry. It truly was all my fault. I could have stopped all of it. I didn't have to go back to Ulfric. I didn't have to save the Nord from under that tower. I could have ended it all with a single sword swing.
I couldn't cry for Gaius or my uncle any longer. I couldn't expect Ulfric to save me either. There was no one I had left on my side. I thought to pray to the gods for my freedom. If I could escape, maybe I could fix it all. I knew my prayers would fall on deaf ears, however. They had likely forsaken me as well. As I laid in the silence of the dungeon with only my thoughts and fears to company me, I had never felt so alone.
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Hey y'all! This chapter is quite a bit shorter than my normal chapters, but I think Eighteen will make up for it. It's almost over, guys. :')